A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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Justin Bieber

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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What's wrong the a man who can't tell where he is, can't tell where he's going, and doesn't know how to use a map? Downs Syndrome

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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what sucks? things that suck

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

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What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops