a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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What's a skeleton's favorite type of music? Nothing. Skeletons are just the decomposed remains of a being that was once living.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? ..no

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What happened when the dinosaur walked out into the rain? He got wet.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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My cat used to be afraid of storms. But now it's dead.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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America

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

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PATHETIC

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza One is an ethnicity derived from Africa and One is an Italian dish that is well'ly known in all four corners of the world.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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what little black and can make a woman scream a womans dead roting baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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