A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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Why do I staple a mans mouth to his penis. Because I wanted to

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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?"what's up" "A preposition"

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

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What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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What did Scooby Doo say to Shaggy? Raggy

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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