A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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how many jews can you fit in an oven? -well zero because the conventional oven cannot fit a full sized human

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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A man walks out of a bar followed by the people he came with because they just announced "last call". The man is the designated driver for the night.

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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