Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

why did the asian go to the bar?? i dont know you tell me.

Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

Men's Rights

Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Don't worry, he didn't either

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

I'm hungry.

why dont black people like cruise ships? they already fell for that trick 400 years ago

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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