Roses are red Violets are blue I have five finger and the middle is for you

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Women's Rights.

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Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Who eats chicken noodle soup? Anybody who enjoys chicken noodle soup.

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The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Dont look at me.

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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