What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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Why was the picture ruined? Because you were in it.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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The Olympics

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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What's the difference between a badger and a TV? Alot.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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How are you this morning?

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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