Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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call of duty world at war

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Word play, punch-line, joke.

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What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

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Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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