When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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