Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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Q. what does a metal slinkey and a retarded person have in common? A. you will smile watching one fall down the steps

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if life thows you lemons ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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what did the cow say to the chicken Hey im ralston tyler

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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What do you get when you cross a Poodle with a cupcake? Stop looking at these anti-jokes and get back to work.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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It was a dark night, I was walking home from the shops in town, The wind was whistling through my damp hair, My spine tingled and i tucked my hands under my stinking pits. I felt like someone was watching me, I walked faster the breath was warm on my kneck i turned around. It was gary glitter he pulled down my pants and gave me the best sucky i ever had. We kissed and i tasted the cheese from my knob. In all garry glitter has a giant knob

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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whos the biggest oaf................................ coasta

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Q:What do you get when you mix a tiger and a panda? A:nothing, its impossible

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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