What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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Cheese stick

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

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Donald Trump

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops