What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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Mail | Print | Vote | Daft Punk Superheroes Lyrics Send "Superheroes" Ringtone to your Cell Songwriters: BANGALTER, THOMAS / CHRISTO, GUY MANUEL HOMEM / MANILOW, BARRY / PANZER, MARTIN Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air

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What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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tee hee

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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The guy above me has a very nice joke

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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;aosughdfo

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? the NBA

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what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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