why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Their ancestral heritage

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God

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A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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1 fish 2 fish red fish wait why is the fish red , oh I forgot I killed it

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops