What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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What did the train say at the party Thomas isn't really dumb ass

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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Why was the women's basketball player laughed at. The slippery floor caused her to stumble and fall.

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When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, killed 6's family and made him watch...

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

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What's the difference between victims of Brady and Hindley and a pile of dead babies? Some were born dead and the others were raped then killed.

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What did the Egyptian helicopter do when it went into the pyramid? Exploded.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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