In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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women's rights

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What will happen if your heart skips 10 beats? Nothing. You're dead.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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What's funnier than 68 69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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