How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

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how long does it take a meth-head to rob your flat? not long at all, and they'll take everything. they need to, it's an addiction

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What do you call a man who's eating thirty big macs ? Hungry.

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What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

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BIG PENIS

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What did the Nazi say to the farmer? Sie sind Juden versteckt

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jwe

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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A small plane is flying across the Atlantic Ocean, on board there's a Black Guy, a Jew, a Priest, and a Mexican. The plane has engine failure and needs to crash, but luckily there are enough parachutes for everyone. The evacuation is succesful.

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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Why did the boy cry? Because his mother died of a heart attack.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops