Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's long and hard? The Ap European exam that i just took.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a joke without a punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black baby? A nigglet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo momma so fat, she has hypertension, diabetes, and a higher risk of heart disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dylan is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What's worse than a rainy day? A:

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops