What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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knock knock get lost!

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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What do retards say when someone knocks on the door... NOBY HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....................and that concludes our moment of silence

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What does a bird and a human have in common? They both use long, hard sticks.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

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A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops