Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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What do you call a sleeping bull? Don't call him anything and back away slowly.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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What do you say to a friend when they're feeling down? The Game

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

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What is red and has seven dents? Snow White's Cherry.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a brick at him!

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Q: What did the chinese guy say to his friend? A: ??

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What do you get if you have 59 apples in your right hand and 74 pints of ice cream in your right? Large hands.

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What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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