An asian man and his friend walk into a bar. They both order a few drinks and drink them responsibly. They then pay for their drinks, and drive home to their loving families.

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James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

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How are people and jelly beans similar? No one likes the black ones

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A horse walks into a barn.

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If 32x=8600, find x. ^ | There it is!

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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Roses are blue Violets are red What happened to the gay man? He listened to Justin Beiber And then was straight

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So a blonde woman gets into her car. She then drives to the grocery store because she is hungry and wants to buy food to make her dinner.

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What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

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If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

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What did the blonde get for Christmas? A Brain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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Why did the fat man hit the ground before the skinny man? Because he jumped first.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Sigh... You know life, you start all optimistic and "I am going to be wealthy mommy and stuff" Then you know, life turns not quite out like you planned it, and, well, you wish you had made some other choices you know what I mean... Your grades where not that good, that girl you really loved did not like you back, you know what I mean right? ...Well I don't, how is it like?

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speech and debate.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

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What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops