Breast cancer.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A niggarette

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Donald Trump.

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Why is Adam saying numbers? He is a maths teacher.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

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How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

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Hey, I just met you... No, I'm your brother. You've known me for 30 years. You must have memory loss.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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7

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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EGGPLANT

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your family is dead. Your family is dead, who? Your family is dead.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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