I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis

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Went to a zoo there was a asian shouting GOOZILLA at the reptile house I said no 2 frickly pickles please He said helwo I'm wo pong th pow wice to weet you I said does he come with subtitles Old priest said no the said hello little boy want a mint I said oh thanks I'm not a boy I'm 19 Old priest said no no you can't have one of my special mints I said wait those mints have R's on them are the rainbow mints Old priest no there raspberry I said ok don't be a stranger Old priest said oh I will I said wait your THE PRIEST He said oh I'm just a priest looking for little boys I said no your dead now jumped 30 feet in the air sat on a bird dove into him bird went threw him we made a team promised to clean the world of evil only to find out that we killed the mother of all priest Bird said tweak tweak I said yeah let's hunt them all down Shall the be a part 2 you decide

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What's black and white and red all over? Two biracial gay guys boning a can of paint...

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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How do you differentiate a Canadian from an American ? The American will have an American Passport,while the Canadian will have a Canadian passport.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

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What did one Lacrosse player say to the other? Let's touch shafts

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the WNBA

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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A man walks into a bar. What does he say? Ouch!

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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Whats worse than your shoe being untied? 911

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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When is your birthday? November 13 what year? every year

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sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What do you do when your internet goes down? You right click on the internet connection and try to fix the problem.

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What did the lady find when she walked through the door? Her husband stabbing himself to death because she ate his cornflakes

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A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

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the girl crossed a road to shoot a black van. she shot the sherrif.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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