Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

Every time im sad, I think of a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

How many penguins does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penguins cannot screw in lightbulbs because they have wings instead of fingers or opposable thumbs, as humans do.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

7

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

hi will

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

spell backwards: taco cat

Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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