Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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If you see a fat man, what do you say to him? Hopefully nothing mean, seeing as that would be demoralizing to the fat man.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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Women's rights

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A duck flew calmly through the air and landed softly on a beautiful lake, where he was then shot for trespassing.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Why were trash man's hands dirty? He got shot in the leg and desperately tried to get the bullet out with his hands and got blood all over them and ass he was running to the hospital he tripped into shit.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said, who's there? KNOCK KNOCK OH MY GOD, WHO IS IT??? Yes, we have your daughter here, she was caught doing drugs on school property.

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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a. how did you shoot the rabbit? b. with my banana

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Donald Trump

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Priority parking for hybrid cars

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What advice did the cat give to the man? Nothing because it's a cat.

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops