what did the green grape say to the purple grape? i'm green.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Boo To whom is Boo?

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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Whatd the boner say to the limp dick get your head up kid

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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Why was was a black guy carrying a tv out of someone else's house. He was helping them move.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? -Nothing, he doesn't know sign language.

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You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What is the difference between an African and French person? Nothing all people ate equal.

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anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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