I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red violets are orange......... Wait did I do that wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are their so many lesbians? cause they LOVE the pussy.. (Tastes soo wet and tight)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Cows are land manatees.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I like my wine just like how I like my woman 5 years old and in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic canadian walks into an arab

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the pirate say to the donkey? Rrrrrrrrrrr you a donkey?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There Are 2 People A lack Person And A White Person, The Black Person Looks Over At The White Person And Said, "Hi Tyrone!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops