How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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A black man walks into a bar and is proptly told to leave. He proceeds to sue the bar owner, then buys the bar and turns it into a community center that helps at risk children.

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped his mother

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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whats worse tan loosing checkers getting lit on fire

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm colorblind.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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This one time at band camp....

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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What do Ethiopians do for dinner? Starve.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

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Want to get shot? Go to Virginia Tech. Too Soon?

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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