What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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What is small and gives people courage? Certain kinds of illegal drugs

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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poop nuff said

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Why did the man jump off a cliff? Because he was committing suicide.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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knock knock hold on im takin a poop!

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A midget walks under a bar

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Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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have you seen Stevie Wonders house? Nope. oh well sorry for bothering you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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