When life gives you lemons, thank life for its generosity.

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yo mamma so fat she got pied to be the Olympic swimming pool

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Knock knock Who's there? Hello??? .....

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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So there are two kids in bumper cars at the local fair. A nuke was set off underground and most of the metropolitan was annihilated.

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I would rape her

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Flop dog

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Q Why was the boy sad A he wasnt sad he was dead and therefore had no emotional feelings

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A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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A Christian walks in into a bar . . . mitzvah.

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How many average men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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When life throws you melons you might be dyslexic.

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A black person walks out of KFC

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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Wanna hear a joke? 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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