Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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At least I dont have AIDS.

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Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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What did the firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire? -Let's go home

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Q. what did the gay man say about the smoothie? A. he said "that is soooo good"

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You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a white guy They both have different skin color

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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What color is red paint? Red

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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your mamas so fat her weight is 3.14 without the decimal

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how do you get a baby to stop swinging from a fan whack it with a shovel

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Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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