what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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why did the dog chase it's tail? it has a case of OCD where he was obsessed with catching his tail and would spin until he passed out or threw up.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Jesus was a good guy

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The more I learn to understand myself, the more true I am towards my values the less human I feel. The irony is, that there will always be other humans feelng the same.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, All you HATERS of Bieber, Go sick your mother.

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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WHat did Helen Keller get for Christmas? an ipod

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Nickelback

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Know what people hated the most? 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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