Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Get in the car.

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How do you kill a 1000 Ethiopians? Throw a biscuit off a cliff. JimBoto

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Why am I losing my time writing this joke even knowing that I will get lots of thumbs down?

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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Why I the kid still at school? His mom was brutally run over by a car

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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