You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

anti-joke.com

The government

How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

Why did the man rob a convenience store? Don't ask why, call the police! He could be robbing more stores!

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

try slamming a revolving door

Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

Why did the black guy jump over the fence ? The holocost.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Spanish Inquisition.

What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

What srtarts with "P" and ends in "orn"? Popcorn

Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

A Mexican man is sitting in his mansion.

A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

A woman went in the kitchen and made you a sandwich.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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