King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobel Nobel who? There was no bell, that's why I'm knocking you idiot

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What did the muffin say to the other muffin? "Hello, nice to meet you."

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Why did the Kitty stop meowing? Because its dead.

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How can you tell an Irishman from a frenchman? Well, if you look back at both there heritages...

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A guy walks into a bar, A metal one, OUCH!

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whats dead and gone your nanas cat

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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