What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What do a fish and a moose have in common? They both live under water, apart from the moose.

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What's more annoying than a mosquito? the Sandy Hook Massacre

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"Happy Father's Day!" said the little boy to the old man. The old man broke out in tears because he had always wanted to be a father.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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What has wings and windows? A bluebird, I was nodding about the windows!

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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4 black men wearing ski masks and stripped jumpers kicked my door open and ran into my house knocking over and breaking things. They then realised this was not their friends house, apologised, paid for the damaged and left for the fancy dress party.

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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Two men walk into a bar. It turns out the bar was a lever and set off a bomb. They both died.

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there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

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What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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