Martin Skrtel walks into a bar The bar breaks, Martin then pays for any damages caused

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Romans rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does life suck? Because it does

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street when they see an orphanage on fire. "Oh my god!" says the rabbi. "We have to save the children!" "Screw the children!" says the priest. "Out of what?" replies the rabbi.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops