Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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women's rights

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall of the second time? I pushed her.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Why did the guy get hit by a bus? He walked out into traffic.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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David Silberberg is gay

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A Jewish man walks into a grocery store. He purchases the items he needs and leaves.

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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im typkiking wifrh myv troes. Sorry, i was typing with my toes.

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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