A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Nicolas Cage's acting.

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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whats your moms inside look like nick because all there is is fat

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When life hands you lemons... do not squeeze them, for juice may squirt into your eye, causing severe pain.

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[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

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what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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What did the farmer say to the woodchucks chucking his wood? Excuse me, not to be rude but i worked very hard splitting and stacking that wood and would appreciate it if you would stop throwing it in the water.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

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First joke of the most-disliked area; 9/11 joke. First joke of the most popular area; Holocaust joke. "You shouldn't joke about 9/11 you sick bastard people died" -Said all Americans ever.

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Why was Sally crying because a flock Of seagulls just took a shit in her head

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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