- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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What is worse than breaking your pencil? Flying on a magic carpet

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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do you want to hear a joke?

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to.

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i like turtals and kids

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wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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1. Why did sally fall of the swing? -because she had no arms. 2.Knock Knock -Who's there? Not sally.

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

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Anyone??????????/

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What color was the duck? It had one foot.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Yo mama so fat that.....NooNoooNooooooo (strips)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops