What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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What do you call a baby with no future? A baby dying at birth.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say to his slaves? Nothing, Abraham Lincoln had no slaves.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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Q: Why can't a tomato fly a plane? A: Cuz it's a tomato

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Everything.

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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Two blondes get in a taxi. Who's driving? The taxi driver.

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What do you call a fat indian boy Eeeeeeeh fatty boy

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What's worse than the holocaust? I'm a zebra so what is the holocaust.

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Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

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Fun Fact getting married to your first cousin is legal in CT... bet you thought there was joke coming right about now..........

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

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What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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