So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A blonde walks into a bar... ...she got rufeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into town and takes a shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange Who? Oranges are very good for you and enriched with vitamin C that is apparently good to intake when you are experiencing cold/flu like symptoms during the winter season and your doctor won't give you medication because you aren't sick enough and you already ask for medication to much because you think you are always sick with something. That's what happens when you're a hypochondriac.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a motorcycle and a football? 42, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If Michael Jackson was alive we would who cares he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Erectile Dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did the homeless man give his friends for Christmas? More AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops