If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

What got stolen from the poor boys house... Nothing, he was so poor that he couldn't even afford any thing

How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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