- Anti Joke

Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

lol

Why can't Brent speak at the moment? Because he is eating his ice-cream.

You're so fat, that a picture of you fell off the wall.

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

your mumma so fat she stepped on the weight scales and it says to be continued

what do you call gingers ugly.

What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

Did you know that if you stacked enough elephants to reach from the earth to the moon, all those elephants would die?

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

Why did the black man buy watermellon? Because he was having a barbecue in his suburban neighborhood and he wanted some fruit.

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot of his head

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

thre guys walk into a bar then goes to sit at a booth and the three guys have to go to the bathroom so they ask a waiter to safe they booth while they go to the bathroom 30 min later and they are still not back so the waiter goes by the door and one guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing" and the guy says " blowing bubbles " then goes and sit down " then the second guy come out and the waiter asks " what were you doing " and the guy says " blowing bubbles" and goes and sits down then the last guy come out and the waiter says " let me guess blowing bubble " the guy says back "no i am bubbles "

What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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