Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

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Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

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if quiz is quizzal whats test?

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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What do you call a zebra without stripes? A stripeless zebra.

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What is the least racist animal? A panda. It's black, white and Asian.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Plenty of things

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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