What do you call a boy with no arms or legs? Chris

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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Roses are red Violets are blue Clever rhyming punch line refrigerator

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why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

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A military serviceman returns home from a tour of duty to find his wife in bed with another man. He feels betrayed and files for divorce, then later meets a more faithful woman with whom he has a more fulfilling relationship.

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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What's worse than getting stabbed Getting stabbed two times

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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obama

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yo mama is so fat she has to wear large sized clothing

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What's worse than not receiving presents on Christmas Day? Being forced to consume your own flesh

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whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

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What did Coke say to Pepsi? "Hello."

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What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? depends on how thin you can slice them.

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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Did you hear about the eskimo and the pregnant lady? The eskimo got the pregnant lady pregnant.

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Biggest lie ever; "I have read and agree to the terms of service".

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I don't know what was a bigger disappointment, the series finale of "Lost" or--sorry I thought I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

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Why does Santa wear sleigh bells? Because he's got leprosy.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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