How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What did Batman say to Robin when he noticed he had lost his belt? A: Robin! Q:What did Robin respond? A: Yes?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Snow White found a magic lamp in the middle of the forest. She rubbed it and became pregnant because the spout was a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +29

There's a car about to hit me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? words

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you unclog a toilet? You call a plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's There Santa Santa Who? I stole your dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

An Asian fails their maths exam.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops