how do you get out of a room with no windows or doors? you don't.

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What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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your mum

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no legs.

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Yo momma so stupid when I said drinks are on the house she went and got a ladder

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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What is 0% sugar, 100% pure, 150% hyperbole, 90% bug-free, has 4815162342 lines of code, autonomous, is awesome, bigger than a breadbox, bread is pain, is bringin' home the bacon, classy, doesn't use the U-word, deja vu, deja vu (oh wait a moment), does barrel rolls doesn't avoid double negatives, doesn't bother with clones, Engage!, Enhanced!, Euclidean!, Excitement!, Exploding creepers, Finally complete!, finger-licking, full of stars, funky LOL, GOTY, Give Us Gordon, Indev, Ingots, and has an End? Minecraft!

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once upon a time there was a boy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

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Just finished taking a huge $hit, wiped my ass, then realized I wasn't done.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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what was the biggest game of hide and seek? World War II and the Jews won

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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