Woman rights.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the bus driver get arrested? Because he hijacked the bus.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

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Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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