how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

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The women if the wnba are good at basketball

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding several worms in your apple.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? It was moldy and it was a home of many roaches.

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THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE! THE SALAMANDER IS NOT A REPTILE!

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What's 1+1 2, dumbass...

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a duck walks into a bar. he sits by another duck and says duck 1: Quack!! duck 2: I was just about to say that! duck 1: No way! duck 2: Seriously! duck 1: We are so a-like. duck 2: totally!

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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There was an Irishman, an American and a French man standing at a bar. They all ordered drinks and struck up conversation with each other about what they do for a living and their families. They all go home to their partners and have a peaceful nights sleep.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

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How do you get a fat man to drop a brownie? Make fun of him until he kills himself, and then drops the brownie.

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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A black guy is lying on the floor dead with a knife next to him, what killed him? Multiple bullets sprayed from an uzi being held by a rival gang member....

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

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i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? He was blind.

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GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2v

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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I work for a Jewish Carpenter. He pays me minimum wage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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