(read this aloud): A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. Him and the giraffe order multiple shots and get hammered. The giraffe on the other hand can't hold his liquor so well, and ends up passing out on the floor of the bar. The man decides to leave him there and take off. On his way out, the bartender yells, "Hey, you can't just leave that lyin' there!" and the man says, "It's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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Why is a jewish man so tall? Genetics

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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Why do women why perfume and make up? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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What's worse than finding a small cockroach in your drink? Finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink. What's worse than finding a medium sized cockroach in your drink? Genocide. What's worse than genocide? Finding a large sized cockroach in your drink.

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a child logs on to anti-joke.com and proceeds to post dead baby jokes and jokes with punchlines that suit the build up. i am bitterly disappointed as are all the other fans of anti-joke.com who understand the humor of anti jokes

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Is that a baby in your carriage or are you just happ..... WTF. WHERES ITS EYES!? **purges**

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What's worse than tieing a baby to a moving fan? Stopping it with a shovel

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why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

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roses are red violets are blue you might think i can write poems but, bit i really really can't

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Dear emma brown i would appreciate if i could have my dick back, the you squeezed of wwith you ass cheeck -jackson edwards

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Roses are red Violets are blue S*** is brown and so are you

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Q) Why was six afraid of seven? A) Seven was black.

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What did Frodo do when he realized that he needed to destroy the ring? He simply walked into Mordor

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Your mother is so stupid that she has trouble discerning certain facts from fiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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